While Johnathan and I were engaged, we talked about our future a lot, which of course included how many kids we wanted. He said he wanted 12. My response was, “You better find someone else to marry.” :) He said it so much that when we took the initial “test” for our pre-marital counseling, he was worried that I wouldn’t be able to accurately answer the question of how many kids my fiance wanted. I tell you this story because our first night at home, he looked at me and said, “Honey, I’ve changed my mind. Two is enough.” :) I have always said that man-to-man defense is the best.

In the hospital, Mallory was all about holding Calen. And the way she holds her hands out and cups them for you to put him in her arms is the cutest thing you have ever seen. But when we would take him and give him to someone else, she would get big tears in her eyes and say, “I want my baby back!” It was so sad and cute at the same time. We had no idea what to expect when we got home. It was one thing to deal with the baby brother in the hospital – a neutral location, but what would it be like when the baby came home with us? A couple of weeks before the birth, I bought Mallory a big sister gift. It included a baby doll, a high chair, a cradle and a stroller (her favorite piece). So when we came in from the hospital, the first thing we did was pile up in the bed and let her hold Calen for a few minutes. Then, I went to get the gift. Her attention quickly turned from baby brother to her new baby. Daddy and MeeMaw put it together…with some “help” from Mallory. She was so excited.

I have to admit that the whole dynamic is interesting and confusing for me. I worried so much (and still do) about Mallory and her getting her feelings hurt. I never had any siblings so I have no idea what she is going through. I have no way to comprehend the situation from her point of view. She seems to be dealing with it very well. She likes to kiss him and give him his pacifier…actually, it’s really more of just shoving it in his mouth and holding it there while he tries to thrust it out. Johnathan and I try really hard to make sure that we pay attention to her so she doesn’t feel ignored and even feels involved sometimes. There are things that I did not anticipate. My nursing Calen has brought up a lot of curiosity. As a matter of fact, there have been several times that I have fed Calen with Mallory sitting on my legs as close to the nursing pillow as she can get.

The last week and a half have been a mixture of good and bad nights – more good than bad. For the most part, Calen lets me sleep from 2 to 3 hours between feedings. I don’t get Johnathan up because there is really nothing he can do…and at least one of us needs to sleep. Occasionally, like last night, he is just restless. We were out and about yesterday for the first time so I didn’t get a nap at all. And I ate spicy food, which is probably why he was so fussy. After I fed him and put him to bed, I left the room. When I came back, Johnathan was tending to him. He had thrown up and was inconsolable. I was way too tired to deal with it so he slept between us on a pillow. Apparently, cuddling up with Daddy was good therapy because he let me sleep for 3 1/2 hours. The only thing that I’m not enjoying about nursing is that it doesn’t allow Johnathan the opportunity to feed him. I have already started pumping to get ready for when he can, but they don’t recommend introducing a bottle until he is 3 weeks old.

He has started nursing much better. For the last couple of days, he has actually stayed awake for more than 10 minutes at a time. Hopefully, that trend will continue. He was 6 lbs 11 oz when he was born. He was 6 lbs 6 oz when we left the hospital. Last Friday, he was back up to 6 lbs 9 oz. We go to the pediatrician on Monday. According to their standard, he should be back up to birth weight. I think he’s going to be ahead of their curve.

I remain amazed at how blessed we are. Every once in a while I look at Johnathan and say, “We have two babies…a girl and a boy.” It’s just so hard for me to comprehend my life. I’m so thankful, but even saying that, I know that it doesn’t do justice. Words just aren’t adequate. I can only pray that I don’t take anything for granted.

I think that about catches us up…and I’m being “paged”.