This is a notice to the free world. . . at least to those that live in our area. . . Kylie now has her license!  Now, granted, it’s only a level 1 so she can’t have more than one passenger (I assume so she can’t take too many people down with her at a time), and she can’t drive after 11:00 pm.  So if you can minimize your road time to the hours between 11:00 pm and 6:00 am, you’ll increase your odds.  ;)  Of course, I’m kidding.  She does just well. . . as long as someone reads the signs for her.  ;)

But I just have to tell you the absurdity that is the DMV.  A couple of weeks ago, it came to my attention that her 6 months were up, and it was time to take her to get her license.  It seems to be a rather neat process.  You can go online and schedule an appointment.  They even show you what times are available for each testing station.  Because I was being proactive, there were plenty of time slots to choose from, so I picked one that was convenient and didn’t conflict with anything on my calendar.  1/23 at 3:30.  Perfect.  They even ask for a contact number in case they need to cancel or something. . . emphasis on “something”.  On the confirmation, they print the address (this will be important later), the time of your appointment and instructions that tell you to be there 15 minutes early.  You are considered late at 6 minutes past your appointment time. 

Everything was going well.  I left work early, picked her up at school and proceeded on to the DMV with plenty of time to spare.  We arrived at the testing station 10 minutes before our appointment (those that know me well will be impressed).  We were pleasantly surprised at the lack of cars in the parking lot (in hindsight, that should have been the first clue that something was amiss. . . emphasis on “something”).  With confirmation in hand, we walked to the door only to find a sign saying they had moved.  Brilliant.  A “pleasant” woman met us at the door and informed us they were having a meeting (whoever “they” were).  At least she was helpful enough to give us directions to the new address because I have yet to install high-speed internet service in my car, which leaves MapQuest to be of little assistance.  I raised my handy little confirmation and opened my mouth to express my extreme displeasure (surely they knew 2 weeks ago that they were moving!!), but resistance was futile, and time was wasting.  We frantically hopped back into the car, realizing that in less than 15 minutes we would be considered late for our appointment.  I referred to the helpful confirmation that I had printed from the internet. . . no phone number (keep in mind, they had mine. . . too much to ask, I guess).  Two calls to 411 finally got me the correct contact information.  The woman was short but nice and just told us to come on to the new office.  I mellowed a bit at that point. 

When we walked in the front door of the nice new facility, I saw a big waiting room to the right and people standing in line behind a sign that said “Please wait here for a number.”  (Yes, read it again if you need to.)  There was a line to get a number.  However, there was no sign telling you what to do if you had an appointment.  Kylie stood in line while I took a couple of minutes to get the attention of someone behind the counter.  I asked what I believed to be an appropriate question, “Where do we go if we have an appointment for a driving test?”  To my dismay, I was told to stand in line and, they would give me a number.  (One can only assume that’s why they tell you to be there 15 minutes early.)  Approximately 10 minutes later, Johnathan calls.  The conversation went something like this:

“What are you doing?”
“Standing in line for a number.”
 “Standing in line for a number?”
 “Yep.”
 “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
 “How long have you been waiting for a number?”
“About 10 minutes.”
 “Just to get a number?”
 “Yep.”
 “I thought you had an appointment.”
 “Yep.”
 “And you still have to stand in line for a number?”
“I am as amazed at the absurdity as you.”

At 4:50, we finally left with driver’s license in hand.  The good news is next time, she can drive herself.